Squashed breasts deserve after-care

We treasure all of our bodily organs (except the appendix, perhaps) but for a woman, few organs are as treasured as one’s breasts.

Most of us also treasure our life, so we undertake breast check-ups at the doctors, and sometimes even mammograms, to detect any abnormalities or lumps that could lead to cancer.

Recently I underwent a mammogram at the Rose Clinic at David Jones, Elizabeth Street store, my first in 18 years. 

For those who do not know, a mammogram is a kind of X-ray with a glass plate on which you have to place your breast. Another plate is lowered down and squeezes the breast until it is as flat as possible, while the X-ray picture is taken.

My first mammogram was so uncomfortable that I was scarred for years and I kidded myself that I would never have another one again. But that would be pretty stupid. With so many women around me falling prey to insidious breast cancer, I knew I had to have my breasts checked despite my reluctance.

The squeezing takes place according to a scale of 1 to 20. The lowest measure on the scale, 1, is very light squeezing, and 20 is very tight squeezing. The radiographer said they prefer a measurement of 8 to 10, which delivers a good mammogram picture.

I started whimpering at 2, and at 4 I was begging the radiographer to turn it off. 

“I really would have liked to get a better picture, but this will do”, she said. “I’d rather not scare you off , because then you might not come back for another ten years, and I want you to come back in 2 years”.

Poor breasts were feeling very tender for about a week, but I adopted the following breast care plan, which gave considerable relief.

Daily breast chilling

This is an old tip I learned from 1950s bombshell Jayne Mansfield, or was it Marilyn Monroe? 

Take a large cereal or noodle bowl and half fill it with small to medium sized ice cubes. Alternatively dip each breast into the bowl, for a minute at a time.  You will instantly feel a tremendous relief from the tenderness. Do this until the ice has melted into cold water.

This is also a good technique for breast maintenance, whether you have had a mammogram or not!

Breast massage

Use a nice emollient such as almond oil or another massage oil (but not cellulite or sports massage oil), a body cream, or if you can afford one of Clarins breast products go for it.  Breast are often neglected by their owners. So make sure you don’t. 

Wear a light bra to bed

Depending on your marital circumstances, this might not always be advisable - or even possible. 

You don’t need to make a habit of it, but tender breasts benefit from a night wearing as light bra. It stops them from moving around too much during the night.

A toning gel

In days long past when I would occasionally go braless under a special top, to a special party, I would always treat my breasts with Clarins bust gel - the original formula has been superseded, and now I use Clarins  “Gel Buste Super Lift” not daily but for an occasional treat. 

So there you have my one week, post mammogram breast therapy. Go on - they deserve it!